


Four of Cups

by LadyofShalott



Series: Tarot [12]
Category: Professional Wrestling, WWE, 新日本プロレス | New Japan Pro-Wrestling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 17:43:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11673984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyofShalott/pseuds/LadyofShalott
Summary: Kenny's been doing a lot of thinking.  He lets Nick in on a secret he's kept for years.





	Four of Cups

**Four of Cups: Introspection, meditation, concentrating on your own feelings; pausing to reflect**

 

“Kenny, are you okay?” Nick asks one evening while they’re waiting on Matt and Marty to get to their table for dinner. The waitress has already been by once, but Matt’s outside on the phone and Marty’s running late. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You just… seem a little withdrawn lately.” Nick reaches out and gets a finger under Kenny’s chin, tilting his head up so he’s actually making eye contact. “Seriously. You haven’t been yourself. What’s going on?”

“Seth’s coming to Tokyo.” Kenny looks away again.

“Yes, I know. You told us as soon as you found out. I thought you were happy about that.”

“I am. I just… the more I think about it, the more scared I get. What if I fuck everything up again?”

“Okay, first of all, I know you and I know that you learned from that particular mistake. Second, you have to know that nobody on either side of this is going to let you two be alone with each other, so you’re not likely to have an opportunity to fuck things up, if that makes you feel better.”

“I’ve been thinking. A lot.” Kenny confesses. “I missed him so damn much, Nick. I didn’t realize exactly how much until he started talking to me again.” He sighs softly and looks up at Nick. “I know what I want, but it scares me.”

“Kenny, you guys have grown up a lot since you’ve been apart. You’ve changed since you two were together. I’ve talked to Seth. He’s different, too.”

Kenny’s not sure how much he’s grown up since then. He’d like to think that he’s not the same emotionally unstable, obsessive kid who used to start fights with the man he loved because of his insane need to come tilting at windmills half a world away. He knows that even then Seth was the adult out of the two of them. At the end, Seth had finally grown tired of fighting, and Kenny guesses, tired of competing with his obsession. Kenny had even accused him, right before he left, of not caring enough to fight for them… of not loving him enough to try to make it work long-distance.   
He realized shortly after coming to Tokyo that Seth had let him go, not because he didn’t love him enough to fight, but because he knew that Kenny had to follow his dream. A week and a half after arriving there, when he was finally settling into his apartment and getting things unpacked, he found a note in his luggage. 

 

_Ty,  
I know it’s something you have to do. It’s okay. Stop beating yourself up. I know you and I know you are. I’m sorry that we fought so much over the last couple of months. I love you, and letting go of you was harder than you’ll ever know, but forcing you to stay here would have been cruel and I couldn’t do that to you. You’re going to be amazing. In a few years I expect to hear that you’ve won every championship they have. Please be safe, and above all else, be happy.   
Love,  
Seth _

 

He isn’t ashamed to admit that he cried the night he found it. He was alone and a little scared and a whole lot insecure, and he remembers that he wanted to call Seth so badly that it hurt. He couldn’t, though, because he knew that if he called, he’d have been on the next plane back to the US. 

Kenny has never showed anyone that note, but he’s kept it in his wallet. It’s ratty and worn thin in spots, but he refuses to part with it. Silently, he takes his wallet out of his pocket and pulls out the note. He unfolds it and slides it across the table to Nick.

“Oh, wow,” Nick says finally, carefully handing the note back to Kenny. “You didn’t call him, did you?”

“I couldn’t,” Kenny confesses, folding the paper back up with a reverence Nick had never seen from him before tucking it back into its spot in his wallet. “The first few weeks here were hard, and if I’d called him I would have gone straight back home.”

“You never stopped loving him, did you?”

“Never,” he admits. 

“Judging from that note, and from recent developments, he never stopped loving you, either, Kenny.” Nick smiles and takes his hand, giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “If you love something, let it go,” he murmurs. 

“So, you don’t think I’m crazy for wanting to try again?”

“Are you kidding? After that bombshell, I’d think you were crazy if you _didn’t_ want to. I do think you’re doing the right thing by taking things slowly.”

“It’s scaring the crap out of me. If I know Seth, it’s scaring him, too.”

“Everything’s going to be fine,” Nick says soothingly. “Oh look, there’s Marty and Matt.” He lets go of Kenny’s hand and pats the back of it gently. “If you need somebody to talk to, I’m willing to listen. Doesn’t matter when or where.”

“I don’t know what I did to deserve any of you guys,” Kenny murmurs, smiling. “Thanks, Nick.”

**Author's Note:**

> This took a bit to write because the Kenny in my head went quiet on me for a couple days. The only thing that isn't completely fictional about this is Kenny's eye contact issues. I can't be the only one who's noticed that, can I?


End file.
